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Two main methods are highly recommended to use for solving conflicts in teacher-student relationships. One that is used in Gordon’s T.E.T. programs and the other is Nonviolent Communication (NVC). Both of these methods help to solve problems by keeping mutually satisfying relationship between partners.
What is common in these no-lose conflict solving methods is that
both are based on
In what case do we prefer using Gordon’s model? If…
How to use it?
The basic version of Gordon’s method is that first it needs to labelled who is the problem owner, then comes the 3 STEPS of communication:
In what case do we prefer using NVC? If…
How to use NVC?
Briefly: Keep role changes (use empathic listening and expressing) as many times as needed to understand each other.
Using empathy and active listening (clarifying, questioning with NVC’s 4 steps) to listen to the other, and using 4 steps to express our inner world.
Applying the NVC’s 4 STEPS:
Observation of behaviour or events (without interpretation or evaluation being mixed in)
Expressing our feelings (avoid evaluating expressions)
Expressing our needs (NVC includes a literacy of human needs and a listed itinerary of basic universal needs)
Alternatively, there is another Gordon’s no-lose conflict solving method in 6 STEPS:
When shell we use this model? If
Step 1 :Identifying and Defining the Problem Together
Warning: your statements of the problem should be expressed in a way that does not communicate blame or judgment. I –messages are recommended.
Step 2: Generating Alternative Solutions
Both parts should be creative in generating possible solutions.
It’s important to avoid evaluation until a number of possible solutions are proposed.
Step 3: Evaluating the Alternative Solutions
It is important by this phase to take special care that both you and the other person are honest and use active listening.
Step 4: Choose a Solution
In this phase both people agree on a solution or combination of solutions. Someone needs to state the solutions to make sure that both agree. Don't try to push a solution - both should choose freely.
Step 5: Plan for and Take Action
In this step, you both decide Who does What by When to carry out the agreed-on solution. It's best to trust that both will do what they agreed on instead of talking about what will happen if they don't.
Step 6: Check Results
Both need to agree to check back at a later time to make sure the solution worked/is working for each of them.
User's guide, equipment: